2010-03-13T14:51:00.001-08:00

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ DEC. 2009 K POEMS

You Don't Always Get What You Deserve
By Mikel K

Your subtlety astounds me. Have I mentioned that I have no patience for poetry but your work is profound. Thanks.--Amy

I so appreciate your posts-- humorous and uplifting. Glad to know you and of course will be praying for you.--Merritt Serio

Smiles; happiness is a great gift!!! YOU have the talent/gift to make em laugh!! Smiles help us heal(maybe live longer) that is a great "offering"
--Sandy Roxanne Moore

Good, good stuff. thanks.

--Cocoalfresco

You remind me so much of Richard Brautigan. You break my heart a little (in a good way) every time I read your poems. A diamond would not suit me, is my favorite today. Oh, the longing for love and the need we have for it, and the way that feeling our own lack keeps us holding very still, trying not to hope/waiting/trying not to wait or want.
Rated.

--roseincarolina

You sir, are a genius. Yes I love your poetry (I read you almost every day)
but that's not what I'm referring to.

Oatmeal and peanut is amazing! I may have to sue you for child support
to take care of this food baby YOU'VE created.

--ainthatamerica

I think you figured out a way to give a long time ago. Sharing your unique perspective and insight is a gift I always look forward to and appreciate.

Your troubles never become a pity party, instead you reflect on them with humor or in such a way that you elicit compassion from your reader.

Thanks once again man,

Happy Holidays to you

R

Help

I don't feel good, this morning,
a lousy attitude is trying to settle in.
I'm going to try not to let it.
I lived with a lousy attitude for decades,
and I will not give in easily
to the return of one.
Pancakes won't help.
Eggs won't help.
Oatmeal won't help.
One of the pills that I just took might help,
and going back to bed will definitely help.

Who is the genius that invented kill shelters?

There is a near daily ritual
that we have here in the mornings
Scout knocks on the door
so that she can drop her bag off
before she goes to school
Bundy goes ballistic because
she is knocking on the door
and I go semi-ballistic
trying to get Bundy to shut up.
You think that Bundy, a smart dog,
would have figured out by now
that it is Scout who comes to the door
every morning, but he hasn't
I think that I am going to take him
to a kill-shelter.

Different positions

I need to go to the eye doctor
I am supposed to go once a year
but right now I am in the process of
getting my hip replaced
so I realize that it would be a bad time
to call the eye doctor up
I have taken the note
that I wrote to myself
to call the eye doctor
from the edge of my desk
a prominent position it had visually
for sure
and moved it to my printer
a less prominent position
but one that I will see
when I get back home
after having my hip removed.

Does poverty suck?

I realized, this morning,
that my son never brings
his girlfriend by to visit me
when she is in town.

I'm not sure if this is because
he is ashamed of me,
is ashamed of the space that I live in,
or if the young lady has told him
that she doesn't want to visit his dad.

Do I smell bad?
Are my two dogs, two cats,
and two turtles too much for this young couple?
Should I even be bothered about this?

I bet if I lived in a million dollar house,
I wouldn't be able to get rid of the two of them.

Don't regret the past

Sometimes, you realize too late
what it is that you should
or shouldn't have done;
by then you are usually gone,
on the run, down the road.
They say that you can't look back,
and I try not to. If I had sobered up
in California, I might be famous,
but I wouldn't have these three kids,
in Georgia, that I call mine. I snorted a line
of heroin, once, the drug put me to
sleep; the only good thing about
William Burroughs was that he taught me
that I didn't want to be anything like him.

Ouch

I drove a large rental truck
into a police van, the other day:
it was quite embarrassing,
and I felt bad for the lady
who had enlisted me to help her
move her truck.

The cops were pretty nice
about the whole thing,
they just took forever to
get everything that they needed
regarding the accident.

The scratch on the police van
was minuscule; I think that if
I had wiped the paint away
there might have been no scratch
on the van, but I didn't feel
that it was my place to tell
the cops what was up.

Sometimes the words make me sweat

Even though it is cold
I sometimes still run
my fan; you can work up
quite a sweat writing poems.

Don't be a quitter

I wonder what it would take
for me to quit drinking coffee;
in years past, I have given up
alcohol, and cigarettes,
and love and sex have mostly
given up on me, so it would seem
that I could give up coffee,
only I have no desire to quit coffee;
it was just a thought that occurred
to me at five a.m. as I sit here
and write, and drink coffee.

The answer lies in cyberspace

Do turtles ever sleep, I wonder
and, yes, I know that I can Google it.

Creating with flour instead of words

Tonight, I am going to bake banana bread
instead of write poems.

Ergo ego

Some poets are better at self-promotion
than they are at actually writing poetry,
I won't say who they are, but I certainly hope
that I am not included among them.

Maybe it's the soap

I will have to take a shower, today.
When I was younger, I loved taking showers,
but, these days, I look at taking a shower
as a chore, something that must be done
to keep people from running from me.

Now is better than then

Things have been better than they used to be
and I can appreciate this because I can remember
how things were then,

I haven't stood in front of a judge covered in blood,
in almost twenty years, wondering what I did the night before,
waiting for the charges to be read to find out how much trouble
I was in.

It almost seemed normal to me, drinking to blackout,
and going where that state of consciousness took me,
to a cell by myself, screaming, kicking the walls,
shaking the bars, as if I could pull them down and escape.

There was no escape from me then, and there is no escape
from me now.

A hundred bucks to meet your destiny

The smell of her hair eludes me
because I haven't met her yet.
The cyberspace dating company says
that for 99.99 they have the perfect match for me

Spare changing a ride to get peanut butter

The power is in our mind
it's what we think that matters
I think I'll have a peanut butter sandwich
but then I think again, and I realize
that there is no peanut butter left.

Take a left, take a right, go left
you get in a fight, go right everything is alright.

As I age, I go right more and more; I do the right thing.
I've got to go the store to get some pb;
can someone give me a ride, I can hardly walk?

Anesthesiologist

Her love put me under,
I saw the lightening
but didn't hear the thunder,
as I faded away.

I can't eat pollution

All that matters to me
is the air that I breath.

Slip

I think I thought I saw you
smile, but that was probably
something in your eye.

Temper temper

Push comes to shove
you put on the boxing glove
the handcuffs arrive
and you are taken away.
You won the battle,
but you lost the war,
eating your green bologna sandwich
behind bar, you can't even remember
what you were fighting for.

And he won't rise again

Somebody betrayed Christ,
and somebody supposedly
close to me, enjoys being
a pain in my ass.

I know how to cut off communication.
I know how to eliminate a person,
who can't show me respect.

Satiation

I drove into the hurricane
with a smile on my face
expecting benefits like
an insurance company promises you
only different,

my eyes were itchy,
and my back was sore
as I looked into her eyes,
and told her that I wanted more.

The long and the short of it

My invitation was borrowed
by someone who I could not stand
and they stood in front of me
like a reporter not invited
to the portal,

I just wanted to eat my lunch,
alone; I found myself in a crowd
of my own making in which I
did not belong.

Sometimes reason is short,
sometimes reason is long.

Get you face out of that food

Bundy outwitted me, this morning,
as he so often does, when it come to food
He ate Jaggar's wet food out of Jaggar's bowl.
Really it is Jaggar's fault, he didn't eat it
in a timely fashion.
I buy the cheap kind of cat food, now,
and Jaggar mostly turns up his nose at it;
he is some sort of connoisseur.
Bundy is not a fine diner: he is a scavenger
who will eat anything.

My toast will probably keep her home.

I want to be so good that I make her shiver.
I want to be so good that I make her smile.
I want to be so good that that the smiling and the shivering
never go away.
I don't want to be considered ordinary in any way,
except in ordinary ways like making toast.
I don't boast, but I make some mean toast.

All cats are criminals

I've been writing since seven,
and I'm not going to feed that cat, again.

Someone's been stealing her food,
and that puts me in a bad mood.
Damn cats must think that I'm a millionaire,
that I can feed this one and that one, over there.

I'm going to bed now, and I'm going to let
those cats do what they do.
I love me some cats, and I know that you do, too

Cleaning Matters

Someone stole Friday
they put it in a drunk tank
Thursday night so drunk
he couldn't see
he shouldn't have been stumbling home
alone life of the party
for awhile
a stranger then
even to those closest
to him
I spilled hot sauce
on my shirt writing this
haven't seen the inside
of a cell
in almost twenty years.

It's funny the things you reflect on.
It's funny what matters from your past.
There is dust on my book shelves,
but I won't clean them.

Manic

You smash something
like an alarm clock
or a relationship,

and then you are without
the alarm clock,
you are without the relationship.

Acceptance

I think that she made a mistake,
and she is covering her ass,
but there is nothing that I can do
about it,

so why bitch, and moan, and be angry?

Of cats and a dog and a man

At times, the cats like to chase each other
from one end of the apartment to the other.
When I am half asleep, sometimes, it takes me
a moment to figure out what is going on.
I always figure that it is my dog, Bundy,
who is up to something, because it is usually
Bundy who is up to something.

I remember back when I was drunk,
and causing trouble: I used to get blamed
for things that I didn't do, also.

Who's in charge

What a pain in the ass, really,
if I am to be honest about it;
somebody botched the deal
that was supposed to go down, yesterday,
and, now, I am limping around for another month,
and, now, I am out of work for another month.

Yesterday, I wanted to scream.
Today, I am quietly resigned to the situation,
quietly resigned to the fact that I don't have
control over everything.

I'm still hip

"Are you nervous," Kevin asked me,
as we sat in the lobby of the Doctor's office
waiting to have the pre-op meeting
for my hip replacement surgery.

"No," I said, "I am ready."

For a week, as the Doctor had ordered,
I had not been taking Naproxen,
an anti-inflammatory pill
that had been taking the edge off the pain
of a hip that was operating bone to bone,
and, also, I had been let go from my job
which was causing great financial hardship'
so yes I was ready.

"We don't have you scheduled, Mr. K,"
said the receptionist, "could you step back here?"

This is where I now refuse to point a finger.
The fault was either that of the lady scheduling
the surgery, or mine, and though we both feel certain
that we are correct, what's done is done,
and what's done is that I didn't have
my hip replacement surgery yesterday, and I won't
have it until Jan. 11

Yesterday was a day of disappointment,
with a tad bit of anger thrown in, I must add,
but today is a new day, a whole new day
that I have been given to smile, and accept things
as they are.

There must be a reason that this old left hip of mine
is going to be mine for another month.

A poem shortened by dogs' desires

This day starts off magical
I feed the animals
and then I sit back and watch
the turtles swim gracefully
about their tank.

The lady from the doctor's office
calls and says that they can't
fit me in before my scheduled appointment
which is a month away; I smile
this is a new day, I have left the disappointment
of yesterday behind.

The dogs want to go outside,
so I will have to cut this poem short.

Morisson knocked over my heater, last night, the one that I place on a stool by my bed, so that I can keep the central heat turned on low, and try to keep the bill down, which is not really working. I think that the utility company is out to get me, that it is out to get us all!

There was a storm outside, and Morisson got up on his hind legs, put his paws on the bed, and kept trying to get his head underneath my hand. Finally, he jumped up on the bed where his goal was the same thing as it was when he had been on the floor: to get his head under my hand. He wanted the security that my hand provides him.

I hope that he didn't break my heater. It didn't work the first time that I tried it, last night, but then it appeared to work later. Poor Morisson, he is such a freak when it comes to storms, especially to thunder, and lightening. Bundy isn't bothered by it at all. It is funny how each dog has their particular pet peeves.

I'm tired, but I think that my last cup of coffee is going to give me at least another hour in this day. "No one's awake. No one's loving me," are the lines that come to mind, but I don't start that poem because it seems sappy; self-indulgent. We are where we are for a reason. If we are alone, it must be meant to be. Most marriages, most relationships end in failure: all mine have. That's not quite true. I am still "involved" with most every woman who I have ever been involved with, from the one who gave me three children, to a several one night stands. It's just that I am alone tonight, and I don't want to be alone tonight. I don't know what is the matter with me. I usually like being alone.

Wrapped in the waggy hag of a Maggie dag in the distance.

I salivate a cornucopia of colors representing happiness.
I smile a million dialects of love.
I shake hands, look people in the eyes seeking nothing
but brotherhood and sisterhood.
I dance, and there is no cover charge.
My car is fueled by unpolluted air.
I grow my own crops and share with my neighbor
who grows their own crops and shares with me.
Everybody shares with everybody seeking not a dollar,
and the tomato doesn't become the new five dollar bill.
Posted by mikel k poetat 3:01 PM0 comments Links to this post
My dogs have begun to scratch themselves, and it was my thought that they couldn't have fleas in the cold. I have no money for flea control medicine, so they will have to keep scratching, and I will have to keep being irritated by their itching. There is no universal flea control care for poor dogs.

It is forty five degrees outside, and drizzling rain; by all accounts a nasty day, but I do not feel nasty inside my brain, so everything is ok. Do you know what I am saying? The weather, and all things external to your existence should not affect you existence if your existence is having a good day, and your existence should be having a good day every day, because the most precious thing about existence is existence.

Bundy is at the front door taking note of what passes in front of him. Some he will let pass freely, others he will erupt into mad frenzy of barking, and bared teeth. Either way, with this living sentry at my front door, I am aware from my desk of what is going on outside my front door.

Scout, and the cats, are sleeping. Although Bundy is a bit too much sometimes, it is really good to have him here. Scout and the cats are safer.

Morisson is feigning sleep on the floor near my feet. He has one eye on me, as he always does. He longs to be with me all the time, as he used to be, when I had a car. Morison and I used to be one; he went everywhere with me: to the coffee shop, to the grocery store, to the sushi place for lunch. I always found a place to tie him, where he was safe, a place not too far out of my reach. He is not happy when I leave this apartment, now, and do not take him with me, but there is not much that I can do.

They won't take him on the bus, and I am walking on a cane until January. Some day, we may ride, again, together, although I like the idea of never having a car, again.

I met this girl in May. She lasted until July. I wonder what she is up to now. It is sad that "love" closes the door on itself so often. I love my animals. Do I need more?

Wrapped in my armor

I'm lost in confusion
they say the more I kill
the better I am
I got a metal for killing
I got a metal for killing
I won't put it on my shelf
when I get home

There's Morgan we shared
a joint this morning
His head is laying next to
his hand
He won't get a metal
He won't get a metal
but he gave his life
he gave more than I did,
he's got a young kid
who will never see him.

You wouldn't believe
what war does to man.

Daughter in the a.m.

In about an hour, she will knock on my front door. I will open the door, and she will put her bag on the small desk that sits near the front of the apartment. Normally, I don't like being awoken, or interrupted, this early, but I am always glad to see her.
She will then go to school, and I will go back to bed.

Math. 101

According to my calculations
you can't be happy all of the time.

No buzz

The carpenter bees
are not buzzing by
the entrance to my
porch.
Have they gone
where the birds
go in December?

Even if surrounded by love

When dreams fly
you are high,
when dreams die
you are despondent,
depressed,
a mess,
empty,
alone even if
surrounded by love.

A brief bit from something else

The day is good, full of potential for positivism but I can screw it, cast darkness where there is light. I have done it before: for years, decades, actually.

You can look at a jar of crunchy peanut butter and say, "This is not the type of peanut butter that I like," without trying it. Or you can try the peanut butter, and then say, "Why this peanut butter is not so bad, in fact it is good. I don't know why I remember it from my childhood as being bad."

The key is in trying. If you don't try, nothing can happen; good, or bad, and if you try, often good things will happen. Call me Mr. Positivism.

Blinded by The Capitalist Pigs

The way they get you
is to design the pump
so that it will break
before you are even half way done
with their product.
Bastards.
If they could see me home, alone,
near blind because their glass cleaner
doesn't work, would it make any difference,
would they have any sympathy.
Would they design their product
for anything besides profit.
I think not.

So, I will start the day over

As pure as this morning is
I am driven back to sleep
for I woke too early
and am still useless.

Bundy The Wonder Dog

Bundy briefly sees something out front, growling for just seconds, and then retreating from the door to come lick my knee. Morisson comes up from the other side, and sticks his head in my hand. He has learned how to sneak himself some attention even when Bundy is trying to dominate the scene. I rub both dogs on the head, furiously. They love it. Bundy, as usual, sticks his buttocks into Morisson trying to push him away. He is not satisfied sharing the attention.

Kissing invisible lips

I thought I heard her whisper
in my sleep she was a million miles away from me
The key was to wait and not hurry into something.

Things I do with my day

Wake up early.
Feed the dogs.
Feed the turtles.
Feed the cats.
Make some coffee.
Drink some coffee.
Socially Network.
Write.
Take the dogs outside.
Eat a breakfast type thing.
Take a nap.
Write.
Read a book.
Bake some bread.
Wait for Scout.
Take a nap(maybe.)
Write.
Drink some coffee.
Drink some tea.
Socially network.
Listen to music
Feed the dogs.
Eat some dinner type thing.
Write.
Write.
Write.
Drink some tea.
Take the dogs outside.
Write.
Write.
Feed the turtles.
Read.
Lights out.
Put on the CPAP mask.
Sleep.
Dream.

It's the beginning of the beginning(as I know it)

I should write some poetry tonight
because I feel like shit,
and mostly, recently, my poetry has
been happy, giddy happy, completely
happy to be alive and all that.
I'm still happy to be alive,
but I feel a bit like doo doo poo poo.
I'm not going to say why,
because I don't want to sound like
a whiner.
You've gone through what I am
going through; you might be going
through it right now, as I am going
through it.
The blues has no boundaries,
financial insecurity has no boundaries,
physical pain has no boundaries.
There, I've said it.
It wasn't all that bad.
Music makes me feel better.
You'd don't need a love interest,
you don't need a partner
when you have music; do you?

Arousal

Yawning from a nap; coffee is brewing,
I'm still half asleep, not sure what I'm doing.

Oh God, yes

"Oh God, yes," I say, when my mouth touches that cup of coffee for the first time. I have made yet another perfect cup; just right in taste, just right in temperature. I am in for five minutes of pleasure.

The dogs are itching themselves furiously, and I m scratching my head, wondering what I am going to do. I'm out of work, waiting to get a new hip put in, living on a prayer. The vet won't take prayers: I know her; she's a friend of mine, but prayers, and "friends" who don't pay her, don't help her keep her lights on, and Lord knows that she needs to keep her lighs on; that woman has given more homeless dogs, and cats, a place to stay than my dogs have fleas.

Of course, I don't know that my dogs have fleas. It could be just itchy skin. I started feeding them the cheap dog food, again, about a month ago, and, maybe, this is the result of doing such. I couldn't afford the good food anymore; I really couldn't. I was eating rice, and macaroni myself for lunch and dinner, and I wasn't putting much else into either dish: no corn, no rice, no salmon in the rice, just rice, and no sauce, or shrimp in the pasta, just pasta in mayonnaise.

I'm not complaining. I chose this life style. I chose to be a writer. I chose to starve for my art, but the thing that is not fair is that the dogs did not choose to be writers, yet they feel the ramifications of my behavior.

I realized, toda, that I can't blow her off, that I am not blowing her off, like I thought that I was. You can not blow someone off who is blowing you off.

It's kind of like announcing that you don't believe in Santa anymore. It gives your parents an excuse to give you less for Christmas, so if you are wise, you will keep your mouth shut.

Two people can get equally burnt out on a relationship, and decide, separately, to stay away from the other person. What you have there is a failure to communicate, which can be a good thing, because it lets both of you calm down, it lets both of you get away from the other.

We all need money, and coffee

I can barely put my left shoe on,
and tying it is even worse.
I can limp around my apartment,
but I need a cane to go any further.
Everybody says that they want to help,
but I'm not sure what kind of help I need
other than money, and coffee,
and I hate to ask for that.
(We all need money, and coffee.)

Trying for the clever opening

Punk
rock is cool,
I wish I hadn't said it.
She didn't respond,
as usual I made
an ass of myself
in cyberspace.

Often I am hungry in the morning(as many of you are!)but I try not to eat, because eating zaps my urge to write. I think that I read somewhere that there is blood in your brain that help you write, and that blood rushes to your stomach when you put food in there.

My morning meal makes me sleepy, and, often, leads me back into the bed for my morning nap, which I don't feel guilty about taking, because I am often up at five am, or so, to feed the animals, and write for a few hours.

Who's doing what?

I'm wondering what Santa is up to;
it's December 11, has he got the presents
ready yet?
Don't forget there are still 14 days
to be good or bad.

Hey Santa, how's the scene this year?
Have the kids been bad or good,
what went down in the hood; shootings,
or school work?

What about the kids not being raised in poverty
did they give mommy a pouty look when she asked
that the carpet be vacuumed?

And what about love? Do the kids know
that Christmas means love; love for your family,
love for your friends, love for the stranger.

I have gotten used to putting peanut butter in my oatmeal, and I ran out of peanut butter, several days ago, so I have not been having any oatmeal. I may have to have some oatmeal without peanut butter, today, as I won't have the where with all to buy peanut butter until Monday, and today is Friday.

When I am a successful writer, one day, i.e. one who can buy peanut butter on Friday, and not wait until Monday, I will look back on this period of my life and smile.

I worry about things, still, but not like I used to worry about them. My father used to worry about things. Worry killed him. I am on pills that help me with worry. Without the pills, I, too, would worry myself to death.

The possum was frozen in a tree next to our house, seemingly unsure of why it was in that tree. He appeared to feel vulnerable and stared at us, trying to gauge how much of a threat we were.

I was as scared of him as he was of me. I had never been that close to a possum, and was not sure if I liked being that close to him. Before this, I had always seen possums scurrying off into the distance. It was weird to be up close to one that seemed to be going nowhere.

My neighbors found him entertaining, as my heart skipped several beats. I said, "Oh isn't that something," big smile on my face, and then I headed inside, my pace a bit faster than it usually was when I was entering the abode.

I was thankful, when I came out later, and the possum was gone. I didn't know where he went, and I didn't care. There was something alien about being that close to a possum, and I now know that I am scared of aliens.

"Shoo alien; go away!"

I am getting a separation notice, today, from the bookstore that I worked at for a year. It is weird to be separated from the store, it felt like such a part of me,
but nothing lasts forever.

For whom the siren tolls

I am awake,
but probably
not for long.

I hear sirens
off in the distance,
and say a prayer
for whoever is the recipient
of the service of those fire trucks.

Fire sirens always scare me,
for I know that it could be me,
for whom the siren tolls.

It's too early to growl

It is cold out there
twenty nine degrees
and it makes me thankful
that I have heat in my abode.

Monkey, the stray cat,
is nowhere to be seen.
She has found a warm place
to curl up, I hope,
and will show up for breakfast,
later.

The bill may be high,
but I should be thankful
that there is a utility company
that helps provide heat,
instead of always bitching
about how much they charge
for their service.

Bundy is at the front door
growling at somebody,
"Take it easy dog," I say
to him.
It is only 6:17 a.m.

Tee Hee

The steady beat of a morning rain
has replaced the drunken laughter
of folks having a Christmas party
next door. Many of those people
will have hangovers, this morning,
and I won't. That is the price that
they pay for bothering me, last night.
Posted by mikel k poetat 7:53 AM0 comments Links to this post
The needs of turtles and desire of a man

My turtles are hugging this morning
I wish that I could buy them a new tank
I cracked their old one
Someday I will sell a book
and it will sell enough copies
that I will be able to buy them a new tank.
Posted by mikel k poetat 7:52 AM0 comments Links to this post
I suck

It is my oldest boys birthday, today,
he turns 27, I am pretty sure.
You know that you suck as a father figure
when you don't know exactly how old
your kid is.
Posted by mikel k poetat 7:48 AM0 comments Links to this post
Like cat like man

I haven't seen Monkey,
the stray cat who I feed,
in several days,
but it has been either
raining, or cold, outside or both
and Monkey is not a stupid cat
she has not survived outside
for ten years by not knowing
where to be when.
I'm like Monkey, a bit,
I haven't left the house, much,
for days, during this inclement weather
basically only stepping out onto the porch
to see if Monkey is there
and wants to eat.
Posted by mikel k poetat 7:46 AM0 comments Links to this post
The beaten path

I wake up
and head to the head
Kobain is blocking the path
(like Bundy usually does0
so I tap him on the ass
with my foot he moves,
and I take care of business
do you really want to hear
about me using the facility
first thing in the morning
there must be something more
to write about this morning
I flush the toilet
and head out to fee the animals
another day has begun.

Tee Hee

The steady beat of a morning rain
has replaced the drunken laughter
of folks having a Christmas party
next door. Many of those people
will have hangovers, this morning,
and I won't. That is the price that
they pay for bothering me, last night.

The needs of turtles and desire of a man

My turtles are hugging this morning
I wish that I could buy them a new tank
I cracked their old one
Someday I will sell a book
and it will sell enough copies
that I will be able to buy them a new tank.

I suck

It is my oldest boys birthday, today,
he turns 27, I am pretty sure.
You know that you suck as a father figure
when you don't know exactly how old
your kid is.

Like cat like man

I haven't seen Monkey,
the stray cat who I feed,
in several days,
but it has been either
raining, or cold, outside or both
and Monkey is not a stupid cat
she has not survived outside
for ten years by not knowing
where to be when.
I'm like Monkey, a bit,
I haven't left the house, much,
for days, during this inclement weather
basically only stepping out onto the porch
to see if Monkey is there
and wants to eat.

The beaten path

I wake up
and head to the head
Kobain is blocking the path
(like Bundy usually does0
so I tap him on the ass
with my foot he moves,
and I take care of business
do you really want to hear
about me using the facility
first thing in the morning
there must be something more
to write about this morning
I flush the toilet
and head out to fee the animals
another day has begun.

I think that it is each person's right to believe in God, or not believe in God. I think that a lot of people who believe in Christ have driven a lot of people away from God, with their smug self-righteous attitude; their incredibly stupid belief that everyone else has to believe like they do.

I was raised Catholic, so I had God drilled into me at a young age. I was brainwashed from the first grade on, until I left the church when I was 18 or 19.

(To be cont.)

Imaginary flagellation

It is Christmas, and I'm broke
what a bum you are, my father
might say, but he can't say that
because he is dead.

Cheating like I don't know how

It is about 20 degrees warmer outside,
this morning, than it has been
for the last several day, which feels nice.
I had to turn my heater down.
It is nice to save money, whenever possible,
but I am convinced that the people
who sell me heat have figured out ways
to keep the bill high no matter what I do.

It's too early for the dogs and cats

The animals at, and then went back to sleep,
except for the turtles, who I am wondering
if they ever sleep.

Don't be a quitter

Today is one of those mornings where
the words are slow to come, and the
thought hits me to quit, to not try
to put words up on this screen. You
have to stay with it, though, you
can't quit on it, for if you quit
on it, this morning, you will quit
on it tomorrow, and the next day,
and the next, and then you will not be
a writer anymore you will be a quitter,
a guy who used to writer, who doesn't
write anymore.

No candles to blow out, either

I feel bad that nobody brought him a cake.
If I had known that no one was bring him a cake,
I would have baked him a cake, and brought it.
It is un-American to not have a cake on your birthday.

Did any of us tell our parents everything

She was talking about things
that she had never told us,
the real reason she stays away
from a certain part of town
her father shook his head
saying, "Another thing that
she has not been straight up
about."

Dag nab it

The dogs are scratching themselves furiously
they must have fleas.

Did I use the word beautiful too much in this poem?

The morning is beautiful
this cup of coffee is beautiful
the day will be beautiful
I may not be beautiful
when I look in the mirror
but I'm ok with that!

Dear Mikel

Thank you for submitting to Esprit de Corps Issue 1. Unfortunately, on this occassion, your submission has been unsuccessful. However, we would be interested in reading submissions for future issues.

Best Wishes
Adrian Manning
Poetry Editor

Better than everybody

I don't think I know you, but I know
your kind: too cool.

I think that it is each person's right to believe in God, or not believe in God. I think that a lot of people who believe in Christ have driven a lot of people away from God, with their smug self-righteous attitude; their incredibly stupid belief that everyone else has to believe like they do.

I was raised Catholic, so I had God drilled into me at a young age. I was brainwashed from the first grade on, until I left the church when I was 18 or 19.

(To be cont.)

Imaginary flagellation

It is Christmas, and I'm broke
what a bum you are, my father
might say, but he can't say that
because he is dead.

Cheating like I don't know how

It is about 20 degrees warmer outside,
this morning, than it has been
for the last several day, which feels nice.
I had to turn my heater down.
It is nice to save money, whenever possible,
but I am convinced that the people
who sell me heat have figured out ways
to keep the bill high no matter what I do.

It's too early for the dogs and cats

The animals at, and then went back to sleep,
except for the turtles, who I am wondering
if they ever sleep.

Don't be a quitter

Today is one of those mornings where
the words are slow to come, and the
thought hits me to quit, to not try
to put words up on this screen. You
have to stay with it, though, you
can't quit on it, for if you quit
on it, this morning, you will quit
on it tomorrow, and the next day,
and the next, and then you will not be
a writer anymore you will be a quitter,
a guy who used to writer, who doesn't
write anymore.

No candles to blow out, either

I feel bad that nobody brought him a cake.
If I had known that no one was bring him a cake,
I would have baked him a cake, and brought it.
It is un-American to not have a cake on your birthday.

Did any of us tell our parents everything

She was talking about things
that she had never told us,
the real reason she stays away
from a certain part of town
her father shook his head
saying, "Another thing that
she has not been straight up
about."

Dag nab it

The dogs are scratching themselves furiously
they must have fleas.

Did I use the word beautiful too much in this poem?

The morning is beautiful
this cup of coffee is beautiful
the day will be beautiful
I may not be beautiful
when I look in the mirror
but I'm ok with that!

Dear Mikel

Thank you for submitting to Esprit de Corps Issue 1. Unfortunately, on this occassion, your submission has been unsuccessful. However, we would be interested in reading submissions for future issues.

Best Wishes
Adrian Manning
Poetry Editor

Better than everybody

I don't think I know you, but I know
your kind: too cool.

We don't deal in outcomes

I forgot two things, yesterday, while shopping;
I forget limes, and I forgot plastic freezer bags.
Now, this will not devastate my world,
but I really like to have lime in my water.
For years, I put lemons in my water,
but someone said that limes were an appetite suppressant,
so I tried them, and got hooked, thought I don't think
that I lost any weight as a result.

They say that waking up is hard to do

As soon as I type a few poems,
I am going back to bed.
I don't feel good enough, yet,
to fully greet the world.
I drank a new brand of coffee, this morning,
one from the grocery store; it was weak.
I might need to drink ten cups of it to wake up.

A hot story

Two young men came yesterday
and fixed the hole in the ceiling
at this abode.
I should be saving the big bucks
now, on heating costs, all that
hot air staying in the apartment,
now, instead of escaping into
the sky above and heating the
birds, and squirrels.
I know that the birds, and squirrels
might be unhappy, but my wallet
should smile some.

Doesn't play well with others

No one can see you
trying to fit in,
as you sit alone
upon your throne,
where they can't get you.

We could breath more air if there were more like me

I'm eco friendly because I don't to anywhere.
I'm not trying to save the planet: I'm unpopular.

Protected

I'm covered; got a box of them,
they gather dust on a shelf.

Certain imperfection

I look up
what do I see
nothing,
no woman smiling
in front of me
it's ok
I know that
the picture I paint
is not perfect
for me.

Loneliness

I inject myself
into you
you reject me
like a heart transplant
that fails
I walk away
and soon
try to inject myself
into somebody else.

He's a really weird looking bug

I want to write a poem
about flowers, how they
bloom in the spring,
how their beauty inspires me,
and then this little bug
drops onto my desk, again;
I figure that he is seeking
refuge from the cold,
as I do, and I do not squash him
like I do cockroaches in my sink
in the morning.

I made it

I was reminded today
of a friend who didn't make it
and I look to the skies
and say, "Why me?"

What are you?

I love all of my day
but this is my favorite part of it
the early morning when I rise
and put my fingers to the keyboard.
Not much interferes with the process
of me being who I am.

No good

I used to pick flowers
and hallucinate,
coming down
from several decades of
no good.

Apathy

It's too early to listen
to songs that I don't know
It's too late to find
a love that will last forever.

At least he doesn't snore

Bundy even growls in his sleep
at noises that occur around this apartment.
I'm not sure whether to be thankful
for his guard dog abilities
or whether to feel sorry for him
in that his sleep is somehow interrupted.

It is raining, again

Last year we were rationing water,
and this year we are flooding.
Noah could drive his ark down
just about any street in the city.

How to live a five star existence

It seems senseless
to me to pursue something
that you have no interest in.
"Well, there is good money in it,
they tell you, and you slowly die,
in your nice house, in your nice car,
eating your fancy meals.

I like oatmeal

I more like oatmeal with butter,
and a pinch of salt, but I love oatmeal
with peanut butter, a pinch of salt,
and a frozen banana that has been thawed
in the microwave for a minute and 25 seconds:
now that is living large for the first meal
of the day, and I can even make a dinner of it,
or a late day snack, depending on what else
is in the refrigerator.

I'll let you figure out what it was

Oral Roberts represented to many of us
something that we are sick of.

Postulation

I think that pilots and stewardesses are friendly
but that the people who own and run the airlines are dick heads.
I'm not traveling anywhere, soon. I love to travel;
and that was just a thought that came to me sitting here
reflecting upon a recent trip that I took.
Of course, I think that the people who own and run
just about any corporation are dick heads; it's just a theory that I have.

Ring a ling a ling

I have twelve minutes to sit here;
twelve minutes that I can create in
before a regular day takes over
I try not to let regular days take over
until around two p.m.
I am good, these days, on the keyboard
early, but not much ready for anything else
until later in the day.
So, I you call before two, and if I don't answer,
you, now, have the reason.

The best ones are manic delights

A poem will eventually
squeeze itself out
if you sit here long enough
but the best poems
run from you furiously,
in a rush, wild to exist
on the page.

Who's to blame?

This house is filthy
and I am a slob, but
do you know whose fault it is?
It is the fault of these two
lazy ass dogs who won't get up
off of the floor and got get
themselves a job.

It's all about the numbers

I figure that she will stop me
if she can stop me.

A diamond would not suit me

There's a diamond inside of me, waiting,
there's a diamond inside of me.
A diamond would not suit me,
but there is a diamond inside of me,
waiting for you.

Healthy Breakfast Bev

Well I woke up this morning
and I got myself a cup of coffee
You can't know the future
and the end is not as near
if you don't reach for that
morning beer.

Anticipation

I have several bananas in a bag
that I am betting are ready
to be baked into banana bread.

No math. today

Her father found her
walking away from the school
after he had dropped her off
at her usual entrance
in the morning.
I am her father, too,
and I am a little bummed out
about the situation;
not knowing what she is up to
is the hardest part.
I used to skip classes,
in order to study for tests;
she doesn't seem like
that kind of student.

The evolution of a very promising student

I've come to learn
that my viewpoint is limited
though I used to think
that it was broad, world wide
in fact I was going places.
I went places alright,
places you never been
and I ain't talking fancy restaurant
in fancy cities, with a fancy lady
on my arm.
I'm talking waking up covered in blood
and puke in a drunk tank, not knowing
how I got there.
And I did so well in high school.

Absolution

She sent me flowers
and then blew me off
when I said hello,
I'd never cried before,
and I didn't start then.

I have everything

I have these "everything" bagels that I bought from the grocery store. I bought them because I buy these other "everything" bagels from another store. The ones that I have now cost a buck, where the other everything bagels, from the other store cost two fifty.

I will probably give the last two everything bagels that I have now to the dogs, shortly before they go moldy. They are awful. They look much like the other everything bagels, but everything is not the same. I guess, sometimes, you get what you pay for, at least in the case of "everything" bagels.

Everything for you if

She collects Gods.
I collect Angels,
no telling who is
going to get into
Heaven or Hell.
I don't believe
in Hell. I think
that that is a place
that they made up
to scare you,
to make you do
what they want
you to do,
like put money
in their basket.
What a scam,
does anyone have a basket
that I can borrow?

We're just blips on the whole bleeping thing

Do you know that when you die
it will probably be a big event to you
but that the rest of the world
is going to go on smiling, screwing,
paying bills, getting jobs,
and eating fast food?

And there is some man out there
somewhere who wants to sell you
a casket with air conditioning
and a radio in it that will work forever.
(As long as someone pays the electric bill
type of forever.)

And, actually, it might not be
all that big of an event to you,
you will probably mostly miss it.

Relationships

I love love.
I hate hate,
it's pretty simple,
can you relate?

The True Believers

You can argue Christ
until you are blue
in the face, like the
man from Mars, and
then you can argue
about The Man from
Mars, and the color,
that he, or she, might be.
Me, I prefer to do certain
things, like right now,
I am certain that I am
going to take a piss.

Simply awful and even worse

I thought that I had it bad as a kid
my father was mean,
but I read something, today,
that made me realize that that statement,
"It could always be worse,"
is a correct statement.
I don't know if this knowledge makes me feel any better,
I can't go back to those lousy, scary moments of childhood
and change them,
but knowing that someone else had a cruel father,
gives a strength, I didn't have before I became aware
of this woman's situation with her father.
Maybe we should start a, "We Had A Lousy Father,"
12 step group, or, maybe, we should just get on with our lives,
as best we can.

Chat

Some folks talk with their mouths.
Some folks talk with their money,
and some folks don't talk at all.

Something many have in common

I got a sister I ain't never seen,
my mother ran away from my father
the night that my sister was born,
she said that she wasn't going to let him
beat on another woman.

I got a sister
I got a sister
I got a sister
I ain't never seen,
ain't even seen her in a picture, mister
ain't even seen her in a picture

My daddy quit drinking when I was seventeen
my daddy quit drinking when I was seventeen
but it was too late
my mother and my sister were already long gone.

Gosh what a guy

Perhaps no tea, my love
and, if I want it, perhaps
I'll fetch it myself
unlike I've ever done
in my 25 years married to you.

I don't know what's gotten into me
my love, you can still do the house cleaning,
but I'll make my tea; maybe.

Author Unkown

I was born on this bible,
and on this bible I'll die,
and while I lived I never
opened this bible.

Retraining

It's been so long since I've held anybody's hand
that I probably have forgotten how to mingle my fingers with hers.

I'm a good learner, though,
someone could teach me, again.

Can they bust you for dreaming?

That's advice I give,
it's not advice I take,
I thought about a situation
that hadn't even occurred.

Sometimes I whisper to someone
who's not here, I tell her
that I love her, but I'm not crazy,
it's always in a dream.

Let it go

John Prine was bantering between songs,
as he so well does, live, and on live cd.
and I thought that I heard him say
that a friend of his bought a book
that had pictures of all kinds of diseases in it,
and I thought how I would hate to have
that kind of book, that I like to have
books around me because they make me feel better,
the same theory of mine being applied to
slasher films, horror films, serial killer
films of that nature.
It is bad enough to be made feel bad
by the television news; I don't want to
spend my time, and my very limited entertainment dollar,
on things that make me feel worse than I already do.
Anyway, I'm not even sure if that is what John Prine said.
Maybe I'll go back, sometime, and listen to what he said,
but for right now he is what he always has been,
something entertaining that makes me feel better,
and I'm going to let the cd go.

I'm the Punk Rock Martha

I boil and mash the potatoes
I chop the spinach
set it to boil,
and, as I reach for
the bag of cheddar cheese,
I realize that I will have to
consult the recipe
because I am not sure
if milk needs to be added.

It does, so I do,
and I add some sour cream, too,
and soon I have a new concoction
to consume, and it came from
my very own kitchen.

While Janis Was Screaming

Blow me
Touch me
Touch me
in my heart baby
Blow me
Blow me
Touch me
touch me
take me
to the other side
Blow blow me
touch touch me
Take me
take me
I need your love
Blow me
Blow m
Touch me
take me
take me.

You never hear me when I cry

I can now, often, hear things
in a singer's voice that I never
heard before; like with Janis
and like with Kurt Cobain,
they both sound like they were in pain,
especially Kobain.
I'm not much sure what use
this information is,
at this point in time.

You are you wherever you go

Silent is the morning
except for somewhere outside
where it sounds like a pack
of wild dogs
is baying for their breakfast
The country is too silent
and the city can sound an alarm
that mostly keeps you awake,
but if you are happy with yourself
you will be happy where you are at
be it in line for soup at the mission
or driving a new car
to a five star restaurant.

Come to your own conclusions

It's a cast of thousands:
they're all crazy,
and I'm The Director,

Wanna buy some popcorn?

Instillation

Guilt stalks me,
guilt was bought for me.
I want to sell my guilt,
but no one seems to want to pay.

******

Better to drink alone

Some people do not find me funny,
and I don not get some people's sense of humor.
Most likely, these people and I should not go out
for coffee.

******

This one goes out to the ones I love

It is late, and I am tired,
so I am going to go to sleep
now. I must feed the turtles,
first, and turn out their light.
Good night sweet turtles of mine,
goodnight.

*******

Not just another manic Wednesday

Mornings became less manic
when I had the cable cut off,
and now that the internet
has been cut off
it is even more less manic,
but I am almost comatose,
so that will not do,
my coffee doesn't get cold
when I don't have the internet
my main distracter is gone.

Imagining her talking to me

Well, you just kind of blew me off,
so I stay away from you. Why should I
contact you, when you've already said
that you've got something else going on?

She just smiles at me, in this dream,
as she always smiled at me, and, in this dream,
she just walks away, just like she did in real life.

It takes awhile to come down from it

I don't miss tv. I kissed it goodbye, awhile ago.
At first, I would stare at where the images used to be,
now I have art in front of each tv.
The snot nosed, greedy madmen and madwomen
who run television are derelicts. They care
not for the cavity called your brain.

We're all gonna die some day

I'm deaf, and you can't hear me.
You're dead, don't get near me.
I can fly to the other coast;
you're stuck here.
What makes one person happy,
will make another person miserable.
The calendar moves too fast for some,
others would rather run from being young.
We're all gonna die some day.

Each one wants different

I want it all
but all I know
is dropping LSD
and picking some
flowers.

I want it all
but all I know
is working this job,
and raising these kids.

I want it all.
I want it all.

I want a shiny new car,
and a sexy girlfriend.

I want a new guitar,
and a band going to no. 1.

I want it.
I want it,
I want it all.

I'm interested in

The Revolution is in Evolution,
not in pathetic whining
or award winning tennis shoes.

The tale of the left sock that wouldn't go on my foot

I had taken a shower in plenty of time
for my 2 p.m. eye doctor's appointment.
I put my underpants on, first,
like I always do, and then my pants,
and then I sat down on the bed
to put on my socks. I got the right sock
on rather easily, and then I could not get
my left sock on my foot. The toenails
on my left foot have grown out so far,
while I am going through this hip replacement
process that I couldn't pull the sock over them
anymore.
This frustrated me,
and I suddenly realized that I was not going to
be able to make it to the bus stop hopping along
with my cane.
This frustrated me, also.
So I decided to call the eye doctor, and tell
whoever answered what happened.
Well, the first lady who answered did not want to
hear about my toenails, but I was finally put
in touch with a very nice lady who understood.
She canceled the appointment for me,
and, then, I wasn't so frustrated anymore.

Some things are just more important than others

Jaggar, the cat, and Morisson, the dog
were sleeping side by side beside me,
as I sat typing at my desk.
They really looked so cute.
I was going to take a picture,
but the carpet is filthy.
I hated to get up to go to the bathroom,
waking them both,
but no amount of cuteness
takes precedence over getting rid of
three cups of cheap coffee.

*******
My how I have grown

My youngest son often doesn't answer his phone
when I call him, but my oldest son almost always
answers his phone when I call. The oldest boy is
28, and I don't think that he had a cell phone back
when he was 20, but I bet that if he had had one,
back then, he would, also, have not answered it a lot
when I called.

*******

Can't love me a buy

A millionaire's daughter
has never given me a call,
but I dated some of the best
damn women that you ever saw.

What's Happening

I'm not sure if it is a good day for writing
but I never know which days are going to be good
and which days are going to be bad
so I write everyday and just see what happens.

A seemingly nice e-Card came to my email box...
Subject: t: A Virtual e-Card - Someone thought about you

Someone thought about me, I thought, how nice, what a beautiful way to end
my day. The card said, "I love the things you say. I love the way you are a part of my life
every day...that was the part that made me think that my duaghter maybe sent it,
but there was no name on it...it was an ad from the card company. How cruel
to twist my emotions to make me thing that there might be someone out there for me.

Anyway

If you ever want to love,
you contact me: I live
in the city, but I might move
to where you are, after I have
gotten one last child to the
place she needs to be,
She could probably make it,
without me, but there is me
and I have this need to be
needed, and besides I don't
think that I am getting
in the way anyway.

Weigh the scales

Better to be a failure at what
you have chosen to be,
than to be a success at that
which you had no interest in.

Ring a ling a ling

I didn't put even a dollar
in The Salvation Army basket,
this year, and that is because
they don't accept food stamps.

You can't eat this

The dogs have been given flea treatment,
and they are still itching,
which is very frustrating,
because I spent a week's worth of cash
on the flea treatment.

Santa didn't bring me a Mercedes Benz

I cooked a four day supply of rice, last night,
and, last night, I felt bummed out
that I had to eat rice for four days,
but I had, temporarily, lost sight of
what I am trying to accomplish.
I am trying to not work somewhere forty hours a week,
sell my soul to the company store,
so that I can write poems, so that I can write books.
The day after Christmas was very depressing,
I am a child no longer, Santa doesn't come for me.

My day starts off with Bundy barking at me, because I tell him, "Back," so that Morisson, can get some attention from my just waking hand, as I sit on the edge of the bed that I am in the process of removing myself from after a good night's sleep. It is hot in here, my forehead sweats, and it leads to my reading glasses getting fogged.

It is an ongoing battle to figure out what degree to set the heater at. I set it hot, and it gets hot outside, I set it cool, and the weather cools down. It is a cruel joke that God plays on me, that results in only good for the utility company.

Bitter

You are like a dried grape that is sugar coated
sweet to the taste but ugly to the eye,
and I am not talking the initial impression
that you make.
Initially you appear to be a beauty queen,
but your heart is made of stone.
To others you still look beautiful,
but I can't stand the sight of you.

Withdrawing from my love

I am addicted to coffee,
but it is a happy addiction,
unless I run out of coffee,
and then it is not as bad
as a boozer without a bottle
or an addict without a fix
but picture this
on the day that I am out
all I think about is coffee,
as if it is a love
that has spurned me.

I have

Have you ever chased madness,
and when you caught it,
it turned out to be gladness, instead?

*******

I got a new CPAP mask, and either it is not working, or I have not figured out how to fully adjust it, which is probably the case. The cats mostly sleep with me, and they always get a good nights sleep, and they never have to wear a CPAP mask, which leads me to the question, "Do you think that cats ever get sleep apnea? I mean they must, but I have never heard a cat snoring very loudly, have you?

Are you sure that you are not me, and that I am not you?

I'm lethargic, this morning, I don't want to write poems,
or memoirs; I want to eat egg burritos bathed in mayonnaise
and red hot chili sauce, but if I don't write poems, and memoirs,
I become a guy who ate egg burritos and not a guy who wrote poems,
and memoirs.

"Can you tell me where did right go wrong?" Moses "Mo"
--From his, "Cartoon You," CD
(Moses is the lead guitar player in the band Mother's Finest

Time is not on our side

Time waits for no woman, or me;
another year has rapidly tick-tocked by,
are you happy with what you've done
or have you asked yourself why
you wasted your time, as you did?

Go away I'm studying

People die in the weirdest ways,
I am sure, even weirder than
we can imagine
for death is not respectful of
what we are doing at the time
that it arrives.
Death does not sit back and say,
"Well, she is taking a shit,
I'll have to hold off for ten minutes,"
or, "He is driving 85 down the interstate,
better let him get off at the next exit."
No, death takes you when it wants to take you,
and, be certain that, one day it will take you.

Yummy yummy with butter

I am going to bake raisin biscuits, today,
for myself.
I hope not to eat all twelve of them, today.
This would not be good.
I'm already a large man,
and I have diabetes, which is, mostly, under control
so I would like to keep it there: under control,
and I would like to be a skinny man: ha ha!

*******

I hate to click on My Space, because I figure that every time that I do Rupert Murdock somehow profits.

My vacuum cleaner broke while Scout was using it, while I was away. I can't really blame her, I mean the poor girl was vacuuming my carpet for me, and the dang vacuum cleaner is fairly old. I don't think that it is broke, but I don't know how to fix it, and I don't know who to have fix it, outside of some guy who might charge as much as the cost of a new one to make this one work again.

People with their own business stay out of yours

If you introduce a man as your "partner,"
does it mean that both of you are gay,
and that he is your lover, and if you are,
or if you are not, does any of it matter,
what you are, or what people think that you are?

I have the coffee now, though!

I love coffee like I will love
the angel who will light up my life.

TV induces paranoia

I watched some in the hospital waiting room today
people were fighting over whether to give rights
to a kid who tried to commit an act of terrorism
I don't have tv at home, so I didn't know that
all of this was going on. I am better off without tv.

Turtle Fights

The turtles sometimes fight,
and it is always the woman
beating on the man. I'm not sure
of the significance of this.

Knowledge is everything

Cyndi Craven said that the duct to my drier
may be clogged, and that that may be the reason,
that it takes my drier so long to dry my clothes.

Who you are

The girl who will assist the Doctor,
in removing my hip is pretty,
but she has a diamond on her finger
that is as big as my head.
When I was a kid, other kids used to
make fun of the size of my head,
now I look distinguished
with this big ole fat head
sitting atop this aging body.
I think that having a big head
has something to do with being Irish,
but I'm not sure,
I just know that it has something to do
with being me.

Good News

The Doctor said that I was going to live,
my creditor breathed a happy sigh,
but I had no love to whisper in my ear,
"Baby, that is such good news, I love you so,
and I love you forever, and I love you like
I've never loved anyone before."

At the instruction of my Doctor, the nurse took my blood, the other day, and gave me a red arm bracelet, which, if I don't bring it on the day of the operation, will mean that I have to have the blood drawn all over, again, on the day of the operation, and they really frown upon that, so I better not forget it.

I have it taped to the ceramic turtle on my desk that holds all my day to day stuff, like my wallet, my keys, my pens, and the apparatuses that I use to prick blood from my finger and measure my sugar count.

The day draws closer where they will cut the old hip out of me. I met with an anesthesiologist, the other day; either he, or another anesthesiologist will put me under, a legal black out of sorts, where I will reek no terror upon myself, or anyone else, and will not wind up in a drunk tank covered in blood and puke.

I am ready for this surgery. I have never had surgery before in my life, but I have been told over and over by people who either have had the surgery, or have known people who have had the surgery that I will practically be able to walk on water once I have undergone the surgery, and have gone through the rehab process.

Let the river flow

The cat drinks water,
the turtles swim in water,
I make my coffee from water.

Coffee, coffee, coffee

When I was in need,
you came to me,
like a shepherd
comes to an ailing lamb.
One day I will lead you,
I thank you
for walking my way.

Victim of the times

And each time the time was different
but someone was a victim, anyway.

He had a bleeding heart

He was a millionaire from his music,
but that wasn't good enough,
he had to stick the needle in his arm,
any way, why did he have to be that way
stole himself from us
we maybe still could have had him
with us today.

Who am I to deserve coffee and music?

I must have done something
that I don't realize that I did
for me to have such wonderful
coffee and music giving people
in my life.

*******

It is Wednesday, and the painkillers that I started taking
on Tuesday are doing their job. I am not high, but I am a
bit groggy.

Broccoli was our foreplay

I was married to her cauliflower,
not to those cold, cold nights
where I slept alone next to her.

She couldn't walk on water

What's new found about love,
at our age anyways. I keep
waiting for you to make the
same mistakes, so that I can
tie you to a cross, call the movers,
and say take this one away, also.

The Formation of a Postulation

I'm always inside, and they say hey is that him
over there, but I'm gone like a bank robber,
blowing in the wind, like dust in the water
before it rains, I'm out on the plains wandering.
You'll never get a picture of me salivating in my soup,
there will be nothing in my trash but yucky stuff.
You can't bottle me, you can't contain me,
you can't put me up on some convenient shelf.
It's a race, but I didn't make it to the starting gun,
more fun to exist over here when all of you
are existing over there. That's my theory;
it's all I'm going to tell you. Bye. Bye. Have fun.

Like a cop video camera in a stop light

I hide in plain sight; I am invisible
though I stand right in front of you.

On the road to the blues

Lead Belly would pull a knife on you,
to pay you back for all the nice things
that you do for him.

Killed a man.
Killed a man.
Killed a man,
probably other blues artists
who I'd rather listen to anyway.

I have satisfied the addiction

Cuz I got my daily Jones,
of my daily poems,
now I can slip away,
and try on the other part of my day.

All the right place, but she ain't there

I been looking for a woman
ever since I got to town.
I been looking for a woman,
but she just ain't around.

Sang the Blues

Blind Lemon Jefferson
Blind Willie
Blind Boy Fuller
Snooks Eaglin
Mississippi John Hurt
Robert Johnson
Leadbelly

Proud dog, proud dog

You're a proud dog,
a proud dog,
a proud dog,
even when you come scrounging
food from me.
You're a proud dog,
proud dog,
proud dog,
even when you put your head
on my knee.
You're a proud dog,
proud dog,
proud dog,
and as busy as I am,
I don't see why you are always
trying to be best friend with me.

Feel sorry for me

It seems like money come and go,
It seems like women won't stay,
seems like my bottle of ketchup
is always at the end,
seems like when I need one
I ain't got a friend.
That's me,
that's me
singing a Texas Blues Song,
see me,
see me,
sing like Blind Lemon Jefferson,
see me,
see me,
feel sorry for me.

What's my name?

Fill my grave not with me,
send me to heaven or hell in flames.

My oasis was in chocolate not gold

I never had no time for the blues,
even though I spent most of my days unhappy.

And how far is the day away from now?

They don't know if Blind Willie Jefferson
had a baby,
they don't know if he had a child,
they ain't sure what day it was
that he was born,
and they don't know what day it was
when he died,
but I guarantee you that they used to say,
"The nigger sure can play,"
because even a talented black man
got stigmatized back in the day.

Are they idiots screaming only when the camera is upon them on New Years Eve, as they stand on a very cold New York City street, or are they like that at home, and on their jobs?

Three scantily clad young ladies came out and told us how many soldiers died in Wars that the US participated in, and then sang a song about each branch of service; recruiting technique?

Many of the people who scream for the camera, to show the camera what a great time they are having, (I guess that is what NYE is about...screaming to show how happy you are) wear large blue hats that say something about kissing on them, but that's not what's important: they also say Nivea, one giant ad on top of many of the idiots heads as they stand in Times Square Freezing.

Why couldn't they have been brilliant, and stayed home alone, with their dogs, cats, and turtles like me?I avoid the crowded walk home, and traffic, and I didn't have to kiss anyone.

A street reveler wearing no shirt, in the cold, cold New Year's night just got two members of the Navy to give him a hug. I tell you, these armed service recruiters will go to any length.

The Armed Service Recruiter Guys are now dancing in the streets, and having their picture taken with members of the audience.

My dog, Morisson, is starting to flip out because teh amateur fireworks in the neighborhood has kicked in. Morisson hates loud popping noises.

(This is a live K Stream.)

And now...after having the girls dance for war, and the recruiters be the featured thing on the NYC streets...they play, "Imagine," by John Lennon.

Imagine.

A bunch from Nivea gets to drop the ball, and, once it drops people start making out furiously. I have never seen such making out. My God, people in New York know how to make out. Do they make out like this year round?

Frank Sinatra sings New York. Still a good fucking song. New York: still a good fucking cynicism, despite the cynicism that I have tried to put on this page, this evening. I'm pissed off about something, and I'm not sure what it is.

Jaggar just jumped up to his window, when an intense round of fireworks started, and Morisson is glued to my hip, yes the left one. Poor Mo, this is his least favorite holiday of all, and I can understand it...drunk idiots hollering, more drunk idiots lighting off fireworks, and we pawn it off as patriotism.

There is more war ahead, and, yes, more Nivea in our future.

PS Two of my three kids called me around The Big Event, tonight, so I can go to bed happy, whatever my concerns about advertising for war and soap.

--Mikel K
(This has been a live K Stream.)

I was surrounded by my vices,
and I was starting to not listen
to the voices that say, "No."
"Happy New Year," everyone said,
and everyone said that you had to
drink, and that it could not be
ginger ale, or coca cola, or water,
so I almost forgot who you are,
Mr. Demon, out in the parking lot,
doing push ups getting stronger,
while inside I grow weak,
just about susceptible enough
to pick up a drink.
I ran from the building.
Anything that is a threat to my sobriety,
must be fought like Heaven fight Hell.
I woke up the next morning
knowing that I was one of the winners.

Knock knock and no one's home

Like a woman who seems too beautiful
to smile at you,
like a woman who seems too smart
to be your slave,
like trying to obtain the unobtainable,
you know it's impossible,
still you say I am able.

K POEMS DECEMBER 2009